The American Monk

By a super weird coincidence, after I had discovered Burt Goldman's amazing quantum jumping website, a friend of mine referred me to the guru known as the American Monk (http://www.theamericanmonk.com), and it turns out this guru is none other than Burt Goldman! I guess I shouldn't be surprised that Burt Goldman isn't a one trick pony and it would make sense that there would be a lot of steps to attain a level of enlightenment to discover something like quantum jumping. It seems clear to me that Burt Goldman is trying to reach as many people as possible by combining facets of established mysticism that he has acquired by traveling all over the world and learning from respected masters.

The thing to remember is Burt Goldman is 81 years old, so pretty much anything he does besides get his drivers license revoked and dying is a testament to the power of his wisdom and abilities. However, the only thing that I don't understand offhand is why neither of Burt Goldman's websites refer to each other. It certainly seems like you'd be helping people twice as much while doubling your chances at reaching people. But I'm sure Burt Goldman has a good reason and I get the feeling that his wisdom is above question, especially from someone like me.

On a side note I've noticed over the years that masters of certain arts of mysticism really hate it when others, like Burt Goldman, dilute cherished beliefs by creating their own hodgepodge hybrids mysticism. Sometimes masters take it personally and do something about it. For example, some claim that Bruce Lee was killed by the mystical chi powers possessed by Chinese martial arts masters for teaching their arts to westerners. I certainly hope that Burt Goldman hasn't incurred a similar fate by petty and vengeful maters. But I think it's a valid concern. And maybe, just maybe those vengeful masters are so evil, petty and vicious they'll seek to kill all of Burt Goldman's students too.

So while I appreciate everything Burt Goldman has done and is trying to do I think the risk of mystic vengeance is just too great to get involved.

Quantum Jumping

I am so stoked! I discovered that I can jump to parallel universes through a mechanism of quantum mechanics dubbed quantum jumping. Personally I would have called it quantum leaping for nostalgia reasons, but that's just me and I've never discovered anything amazing on my own. So why would you want to quantum jump to a parallel universe? Well among all the parallel universes there's other versions of you and between all of them they probably know everything, so you can go meet them and learn their special skills that you don't have. What makes this process so amazing is that you can learn your alternate yous skills instantly, without doing any of the hard work they had to do to acquire those skills. I guess that also makes the alternate you a hard working chump and you the most superior you because you're the one who knows about quantum jumping. I've always dreamed of something like this, and to have it be true is so amazing I cannot describe it.

I discovered this marvelous process on http://www.quantumjumping.com. The guy, Burt Goldman, is finally sharing this technique with us after decades of keeping it secret, because even he admits it sounds bat shit crazy. Now before you dismiss this guy as a total piece of shit quack fraud, he claims that guys like Stephen Hawking and Michio Kaku are discovering things that support his claims. Now I couldn't find any evidence of that, but these guys are heavy hitters in quantum physics, which is a field of science developed solely so scientists can make stuff up (like they always do, all the time) and hide behind the mysticism of quantum mechanics in maintaining their cracked out ideas are factual.

With the power of quantum jumping and infinite parallel universes you can learn almost anything there is to know, how awesome is that? Maybe there's even a you who is having sex with Megan Fox, you can kill him and take his place. It certainly seems like jet Li's sci-fi thriller, The One, is a little less science fiction and more science fact at this point. Of course if your goals are more noble you could learn how to paint or do brain surgery.

I brought up Quantum Leap earlier and I feel I need to bring it up again. What if I get trapped in a parallel universe? What then? Poor Sam Beckett, in case you didn't know what happened in the series finale, "Dr. Sam Beckett never returned home." I want to return home, so as much as Quantum Jumping may appeal to me I think I'll be better off avoiding the risks incurred. I guess I'll just have to learn things the old fashioned way.