Quantum Jumping

I am so stoked! I discovered that I can jump to parallel universes through a mechanism of quantum mechanics dubbed quantum jumping. Personally I would have called it quantum leaping for nostalgia reasons, but that's just me and I've never discovered anything amazing on my own. So why would you want to quantum jump to a parallel universe? Well among all the parallel universes there's other versions of you and between all of them they probably know everything, so you can go meet them and learn their special skills that you don't have. What makes this process so amazing is that you can learn your alternate yous skills instantly, without doing any of the hard work they had to do to acquire those skills. I guess that also makes the alternate you a hard working chump and you the most superior you because you're the one who knows about quantum jumping. I've always dreamed of something like this, and to have it be true is so amazing I cannot describe it.

I discovered this marvelous process on http://www.quantumjumping.com. The guy, Burt Goldman, is finally sharing this technique with us after decades of keeping it secret, because even he admits it sounds bat shit crazy. Now before you dismiss this guy as a total piece of shit quack fraud, he claims that guys like Stephen Hawking and Michio Kaku are discovering things that support his claims. Now I couldn't find any evidence of that, but these guys are heavy hitters in quantum physics, which is a field of science developed solely so scientists can make stuff up (like they always do, all the time) and hide behind the mysticism of quantum mechanics in maintaining their cracked out ideas are factual.

With the power of quantum jumping and infinite parallel universes you can learn almost anything there is to know, how awesome is that? Maybe there's even a you who is having sex with Megan Fox, you can kill him and take his place. It certainly seems like jet Li's sci-fi thriller, The One, is a little less science fiction and more science fact at this point. Of course if your goals are more noble you could learn how to paint or do brain surgery.

I brought up Quantum Leap earlier and I feel I need to bring it up again. What if I get trapped in a parallel universe? What then? Poor Sam Beckett, in case you didn't know what happened in the series finale, "Dr. Sam Beckett never returned home." I want to return home, so as much as Quantum Jumping may appeal to me I think I'll be better off avoiding the risks incurred. I guess I'll just have to learn things the old fashioned way.